Well now that Christmas Day has passed you may have realized that planning really helps save the day!
Sometimes the best time to think about how to do it better is in the MOMENT!
Where you waiting in a line to eat on Christmas Day? Maybe change the get-together date or time or restaurant or book early to avoid all that. Maybe depending on the size of your group there is a place where you can do potluck and if most of you had to travel maybe Potluck is each person going out and getting some foods that can be easily reheated. Make sure where you are staying has a microwave or maybe contact the hotel prior and get a name of a restaurant that can accommodate your group.
Was conversation difficult? Maybe having games that everyone can play- cards- or create a bunch of conversation cards and go around the room and share that way one at a time. Often families lose touch and have old issues so instead of walking eggshells or trying to avoid topics that create tension- play a game, or answer conservation starter cards- do your own version of speed dating- talking to each person for 5 minutes or so, one on one and then everyone switching– often this can work best and avoids feeling like anyone is “on the spot”
Gift giving- in today’s families you often have different faiths, different cultures and different thoughts on celebrating and gift giving. Maybe it’s time to start thinking differently about Gifts as well- we have a flood of “stuff” for the most part- if you still enjoy unwrapping and seeing packages- encourage or make a decision to re-gift something you already have in your home that you don’t use, don’t love or have no use for any longer. You can play the White Elephant exchange (google for instructions) it’s a great and entertaining way to still exchange gifts. Create- either together cookies if someone is willing to loan their kitchen for the day, or cards or insist that any gifts given must be crafted or created- this challenges the givers to think thru ahead of time a thoughtful meaningful git of themselves, maybe exchange services, babysitting for a spa treatment, some home repairs for a cooked meal if possible. Think outside of the rigid retail focused gift giving of the past. Take away the unneeded pressure and stress of that into a more meaningful way.
In Priya Parker’s Book The Art of Gathering she shares this = “in a group if everybody thinks about the other persons needs, everyones needs are actually fulfilled in the end”
Her book really gives you great ideas on making Gatherings Meaningful – aside from the perfect food or the perfect table– which in the end no one remembers.
Lastly I think it is important once again to turn off the social media- for yourself, for the time you spend together, in your preparation. Think about what means the most for you during these Holidays of the Year, don’t be afraid to be “disliked” or vocal about your choices. It might be a challenge to convince family that has exchanged gifts for years to try something different, but you must try, even drawing names or limiting price or quantity of gifts can be a step in the right direction. Communicate- I think we all need to be better at communicating what is comfortable, if family gatherings make you uncomfortable it’s important to think about WHY– there is nothing wrong with doing what is best for YOU.
May your days be Merry and Bright and may you find true happiness in these days.
Thank you for reading my blog
My name is April and I lead small photo tours, lead a travel Meetup group and can help you plan your next meaningful scenic trip on your own to any part of the USA!
April Bielefeldt 818.723..7413
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